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In concept I am torn on the subject of Hellboy II. It has nothing to do with the film. It’s the ad campaign.

I saw the first Hellboy when it came out and loved it. I thought the director was someone to watch and the movie was phenomenal; it was by someone nobody had ever heard of – Guillermo del Toro. I remember getting into verbal sparring matches with people in film school because I thought it was well directed and well made. I was a del Toro fan.

Then a little movie called Pan’s Labyrinth came out. It was phenomenal to be sure, and I knew it would be because of del Toro. Suddenly, everyone was on the del Toro bandwagon. As much as I loved that film, I was not sad The Lives of Others won the best foreign film Oscar – it was better. I waited for the next film del Toro would make.

What steps back into pop culture but Hellboy II: The Golden Army. I was excited. Until the ad campaign started.

Suddenly, the ads were all about “from the creator of Pan’s Labyrinth” and everyone was so excited that Guillermo del Toro was directing a Hellboy!

I sat back, dumbfounded. Did no one realize that del Toro directed the first one? Aparently not. I became less interested in the film the more people toted Pan’s Labyrinth and how excited this made them for what he would do with Hellboy. I sat through many people bashing how they were not interested at all in the first Hellboy, but “my god! This one is by the man that made Pan’s Labyrinth!”

Fortunately, I got over my distaste of the audience as I realized this was not del Toro’s fault, and I am glad I did. Hellboy II is a great movie. It’s not a story arch straight out of the graphic novels, but rather a new arch written for the big screen by the man that created the original material. It’s a film that deals with outsiders, and how they deal with the realization that they will never be accepted.

The monsters are beautiful. The imagery is creative. The actors are phenomenal. It’s everything that the audience wanted out of a comic book movie and the director of Pan’s Labyrinth.

I’m sorry to disappoint you all but this film is directed by the same man that directed the first film.

Director & Writer: Guillermo del Toro
Story: Mike Mignola & Guillermo del Toro
Hellboy: Ron Perlman
Liz: Selma Blair
Abe Sapien: Doug Jones
Johann Krauss: Seth MacFarkane
Prince Nuada: Luke Gross
Princess Nuala: Anna Walton
Manning: Jeffrey Tambor

Hellboy: I know; I'm ugly!

After watching Commando two things become crystal clear: 1) Arnold has not been in that many genuinely good movies in his career. 2) Almost all of the Arnold stereotypes began in this film.

The film is about Arnold’s character, John Matrix, that is a former Army commando who helped oust a dictator. Said dictator is now hunting down everyone who was on John’s team and killing them. Said dictator’s men kidnap John’s daughter, thus giving him an excuse to hunt down everyone of them and create an astronomical body count.

Seriously, that is the entire story. Oh – and since it’s 1985 there has to be a female in there as well so there is a random stewardess he meets that for some reason helps him but that basically means that she drives the car/holds the gear. I honestly have no idea why/where in the movie she showed up.

This film has the best character introduction ever for Arnold; foget the menacing explosion of blue light that eats away pavement and reveals a naked Arnold in Terminator, here we have sweaty, muscled Arnold in a wife beater with a chainsaw in one hand and an entire felled tree across his shoulder.

To further the Arnold stereotypes that follow him the rest of his career this is the film where Arnold is able to flip over cars, pick people up & throw them, take on 6 gooney’s at once, etc. - sometimes all in the same scene.

Please do not see this movie thinking it is a great, plot driven movie. In reality, it pretty much makes NO sense, but it’s so much fun because of this. How does Arnold manage to set two small explosives, and blow up an entire complex of 4+ buildings? I don’t know, but the film does it.

Director: Mark L. Lester
Writer: Steven E. DeSouza
John Matrix: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Jenny Matrix: Alyssa Milano
Cindy: Rae Dawn Chong
Arius: Dan Hedaya

Cooke: You scared, motherfucker? Well, you should be, because this Green Beret is going to kick your big ass!
Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I'm very hungry!

I’ve been anticipating The Dark Knight for months and finally couldn’t take it anymore; since I don’t get The Dark Knight for two more weeks I watched Batman Begins. It is a testament to the skills of everyone involved in that film that it is just as enjoyable on the first viewing as it is the tenth viewing (though I am probably far past the 10th viewing as I saw it four times in the theatre alone).

As I know that her character has been recast, I inadvertently paid the most attention to the performance of Katie Holmes as Rachel. While I do like Katie Holmes, and don’t mind her performance in the film, I am genuinely excited that Maggie Gyllenhaal has stepped in to take on Rachel Dawes. Perhaps it is only that Katie Holmes “private” life has overshadowed the character, but in the whole film the only thing that seems to pull me out is Katie Holmes. I look at her and I see Tom Cruise jumping on a couch, or the happy couple toting baby Suri around, or Katie on Jay Leno saying she hopes War of the Worlds beats Batman Begins opening weekend. Katie Holmes just seems a little too light in such a dark world.

What also stood out to me was Gary Oldman. For years in the film franchise starting with the Tim Burton Batman, Jim Gordon was never right. They portrayed him as fat, sloppy and the cheesiest/stereotypical police officer ever who managed to become chief of police. The Commissioner Gordon that I knew in the comic books was lean, mean and would kick the ass of anyone who put a toe out of line; he was constantly thankful for what Batman could do and afraid of what Batman might be capable of. Gary Oldman embodies this in every way. He is how Gordon should be.

I could go on boring you all with my thoughts on the geek perfect storm that is Batman Begins for quite awhile; however, as The Dark Knight is just around the corner, I’ll wait for that one.

Bruce Wayne: Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues.